{"id":17395,"date":"2017-05-12T14:00:00","date_gmt":"2017-05-12T14:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/architizer.wpengine.com\/mother-architects\/"},"modified":"2022-05-31T07:03:41","modified_gmt":"2022-05-31T11:03:41","slug":"mother-architects","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/architizer.com\/blog\/inspiration\/industry\/mother-architects\/","title":{"rendered":"3 Mother Architects Winning at Both Parenting and Planning"},"content":{"rendered":"

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Being a mother in architecture isn\u2019t easy. Although architecture history is full of fathers who have balanced family and work (and in some cases, multiple families and work<\/a>), there are fewer examples of mothers who have been able \u2014 or been given equal opportunity \u2014 to do it all.<\/p>\n

Polls and surveys show<\/a> that although women enter the profession in roughly equal numbers to men, women tend to leave the field in greater numbers as they age. There are a lot of reasons for this, but one of the most important is that it is hard to be a mother and be an architect. Women are often still expected to or choose to shoulder a greater part of the parenting responsibility, and architecture, like many professions, makes it very hard to raise a child and advance in your career at the same time.<\/p>\n

This Mother\u2019s Day, we talked to three mothers in architecture who make it work. Amy Mielke<\/a> and Caitlin Taylor are both raising their first child, collaborating on their Holcim Award-winning research and design collaborative Water Pore Partnership<\/a> and are taking two very different paths through their profession.<\/p>\n

Mielke is working at a midsize architecture firm in New York City where she lives with her husband and her one-year-old, while Taylor is working on her own projects while teaching at Yale and Columbia and working on the farm<\/a> she shares with her husband in Connecticut. Marilyn Jordan Taylor (no relation) is the former dean of the University of Pennsylvania School of Design, was the first female chairman of Skidmore, Owings & Merrill (SOM) and raised two children throughout her career.<\/p>\n

We talked with them about the challenges they faced, what they found most rewarding and what they would tell other mothers and anyone considering having a child while being an architect.<\/p>\n

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Left: Marilyn Jordan Taylor via University of Pennsylvania<\/a>; right: JFK Airport Terminal 4 by SOM via <\/i>SOM<\/i><\/a><\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t think you start out thinking motherhood and architecture go together.\u201d Marilyn Jordan Taylor acknowledged that when she started her career, being a woman, much less being a mother, made her a rarity. \u201cWas it crystal clear when I went to school and went to practice that architecture is a man\u2019s game? Yes.\u201d That didn\u2019t stop her. She would work her way up the organization, becoming partner and, ultimately, chairman. How, I asked her, did she make it that far while being a working mother?<\/p>\n

She acknowledged that women were caught in a bind when trying to get ahead in the office. \u201cThe same male culture that is driving behavior in the organization writes the rule that says that you\u2019re not supposed to talk about [how to advance your career]. It\u2019s not \u2018appropriate\u2019 and considered less appropriate for women than men to inquire about their future.\u201d But the self-described optimist saw a bright side for female architects:<\/p>\n

\u201cThe great thing about architecture, and I really recommend this to women that I talk to, is that \u2014 especially in the early stages \u2014 the best thing you can possibly do is focus on the project and the outcome of the project. You have the success of that project and the relationships that you built around it, and no one can remove that from you unless you let them.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat I discovered is that when you can not only deliver good work that performs well, is recognized and makes progress for societal goals \u2014 whether that\u2019s beauty, greater inclusion or greater affordability \u2014 you have that sense of accomplishment, but you also have the new set of relationships. They can count on you, and you can count on them, and I don\u2019t think anyone can rise without that \u2014 but particularly women.\u201d<\/p>\n

Amy Mielke\u2019s office is a far cry from the one that Marilyn Taylor walked into on her first day. She works with many women and mothers and says that has made balancing her personal and professional life much easier.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s really nice to have people that understand your schedule constraints, and they don\u2019t push back on it. They\u2019re not looking sideways; they\u2019re not looking to put other people in your position. They work to help you be your best.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy team has two partners who are both parents. They were both really excited when I told them when I was pregnant.\u201d<\/p>\n

But, she said, things came up that she never expected \u2014 like finding time to pump breast milk at the office. \u201cYou get caught in a meeting, or meetings go long, and you have to exit out of impromptu occasions. You try to schedule meetings around your pumping schedule. If you don\u2019t do that, you\u2019re never going to find time. To pump, you have to make an effort; you have to put it as a calendar item. I had a recurring, twice-a-day, half-hour meeting.\u201d Still, she added, it wasn\u2019t her co-workers that minded; it was herself. \u201cNobody gave me grief about it. I was the only one annoyed.\u201d<\/p>\n

Caitlin Taylor added that it wasn\u2019t just being physically separated from your work that was stressful, but also having to toggle between mother and professional modes. \u201cYou go through phases with your kid where you have no control. You\u2019re on this journey with them, but they are leading it 100 percent, which is very hard for me and other architects who are used to having a very organized mind and a very organized life. You have to release some of that.\u201d<\/p>\n

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Caitlin Taylor with her son; image courtesy Caitlin Taylor<\/i><\/p>\n

All three architects agreed that it was hard to find work-life balance, and Marilyn Jordan Taylor proposed that parents had to approach it in a different way. \u201cWork-life balance is really important, but it never occurs at any one moment, and it often doesn\u2019t occur for an extended period of time. You have to think of balance as a longer-term achievement and not something you can ever measure instantaneously.\u201d<\/p>\n

Plenty of articles<\/a> have popped up online suggesting that the key for women to manage the work place is to find a good mentor who you can rely on for advice and to be your champion. In a profession with few women, and even fewer mothers, at the top, I was curious how these women found role models, but our conversations turned away from traditional ideas of mentorship and toward a notion of extended support networks that help out in informal ways.<\/p>\n

\u201cI would love it if someone could tell me what to do!\u201d Caitlin Taylor laughed when we talked about mentors. \u201cI would be really excited if someone came to me and said, \u2018I know exactly what you should do.\u2019 Most people just say, \u2018Wow it\u2019s crazy.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

Amy Mielke agreed that it wasn\u2019t as straightforward as finding someone you could mine for wisdom. \u201cWe have a project manager and project designer who are both women,\u201d Mielke said. \u201cOne is a mother who acts as a mentor for me quite a bit, but we don\u2019t sit there and talk about our families that much. We\u2019re in there to do the work. We pitch in and help out when the other person can\u2019t be there.\u201d<\/p>\n

When I suggested that other mothers and women might be more empathetic to the demands on a young mother, Mielke hesitated.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt feels more matter of fact,\u201d she said. \u201cThere\u2019s no drama around it.\u201d<\/p>\n

All three women agreed that having a supportive partner was critical to their success.<\/p>\n

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Left: Poreform, an urban surface by <\/i>Water Pore Partnership<\/i><\/a>;<\/i> right: Amy Mielke, image courtesy of Amy Mielke<\/i><\/p>\n

Marilyn Jordan Taylor was again optimistic that there was more informal support available to young women today. \u201cThere are just closer networks of mentoring, connection and friendship that are generously and not manipulatively used.\u201d She added that she was very encouraged by the progress and ambition of younger generations. \u201cIf young women today do what their heart says and do it with intelligence, collaboration and empathy, I will be cheering on.\u201d<\/p>\n

This isn\u2019t to say that it\u2019s easy for women to balance motherhood and architecture. With so few women at the top of the profession, it clearly isn\u2019t just an issue of finding supportive networks. All three women mentioned the importance of more progressive family leave policy and the ability to have some flexible hours. But Marilyn Jordan Taylor, the most experienced of the three, surprised me when she seemed to suggest that motherhood and career weren\u2019t two poles to be balanced, but that success in one spurred success in the other. Finding her professional footing, she said, gave her the perspective she needed to realize how important it was for her to become a mother:<\/p>\n

\u201cI think that gaining increments of confidence in yourself allows you to open yourself up to a clearer understanding of the other elements of your life, how your life will be balanced, how it will have longevity.\u201d<\/p>\n

Being a successful mother in architecture, she suggested, wasn\u2019t about being a perfect mom while making partner. It was about finding the right balance for yourself.<\/p>\n

Amy Mielke agreed that architecture moms shouldn\u2019t be too hard on themselves. \u201cI think it\u2019s winging it every day,\u201d she said. \u201cGive yourself a break. You don\u2019t have to do everything perfectly, and you don\u2019t need to feel stressed out about it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Marilyn Jordan Taylor put it this way:<\/p>\n

\u201cI think you need to be as creative about being a mother as you are about being an architect. Be creative about time. Amend your schedule when you have to put family first and then make up for it. Be sure that you generally advocate and help out others, and that has to happen at a state and national scale.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut you don\u2019t have to be a perfect parent. In the beginning, I thought that if I ever made a mistake, being the woman, I would be bounced out of the room, and that wasn\u2019t true. Being able to laugh at my mistakes, being able to admit them in work, turned out to be a [positive] attribute, and that\u2019s even more true with your children.\u201d<\/p>\n

Marilyn Jordan Taylor closed our conversation with this advice for all the architecture moms out there this Mother\u2019s Day: \u201cJust value the time you have and don\u2019t worry about making it perfect. Just spend time together, keep your ears open, and you will have a better relationship with your kids, which is one of the most important things you can achieve in life.\u201d<\/p>\n

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“You need to be as creative about being a mother as you are about being an architect,” says Marilyn Jordan Taylor.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":79,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"architizer_featured_type":"projects","architizer_featured_image":"2052124","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,3],"tags":[31],"architizer_project":[],"architizer_brand":[],"architizer_firm":[],"architizer_product":[],"class_list":["post-17395","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-industry","category-inspiration","tag-opinion"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n3 Mother Architects Winning at Both Parenting and Planning - Architizer Journal<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/architizer.com\/blog\/inspiration\/industry\/mother-architects\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"3 Mother Architects Winning at Both Parenting and Planning - 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