Beijing’s got its Big Shorts (CCTV Tower, OMA, 2012), London’s got its Gherkin (30 St Mary Axe, Norman Foster, 2003), and al-Wakrah’s got various euphemisms for the female anatomy that just aren’t fit to put in writing (al-Wakrah Stadium, Zaha Hadid, 2018). San Francisco, how ’bout you?
Last month may have been the best one ever for Snøhetta, but the new year has seen a rare misstep from the Norwegian architecture darlings. Their design for San Francisco’s forthcoming One Van Ness — the 37-story Market Street residential tower that had initially been granted to Richard Meier — has been met with backlash typically reserved for monikered monoliths. A couple of citizens, unhappy that an All Star Donuts location is being demolished to make way for the tower, took their critique to Photoshop and pointed out that the wedges cut into the façade to reduce wind downdrafts look a lot like a mouth left stupidly agape.
“I’m sad that the donut shop is leaving,” an area photographer who slapped a bottle of moonshine and some burp bubbles onto Snøhetta’s rendering tells CityLab’s Kriston Capps. “I’ll never unsee that mouth.”
But the San Francisco ire, not unlike its foggy climate, stays moderately chill. “As far as new skyscrapers in the city, it’s fine enough,” Brophy continues. San Francisco Chronicle architecture critic John King mildly dubbed One Van Ness the “Talking Tower,” and says that he likes the place for being “dramatic but down to earth.”
C’mon San Francisco. Despite your chilled out West Coast vibes, you can do better — little more acerbic and slightly more vulgar, in the style of your English counterparts. Ol’ Waste-Faced, maybe? Like other major urban centers, you need a scathing pun to occupy your skyline, too. Thoughts are welcome in the comments section below.