Oh, The Urbanity: New York to Build Le Corbusier’s Plan Voisin in Central Park

“Corb said something about ‘towers in the park'”, King exclaimed. “Well, we’ve got the park, so we just need to add the towers, and HEY PRESTO! Utopia.”

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In a desperate bid to solving New York’s affordable housing crisis, city authorities have put forward a radical proposal for new public housing in the city — a perfect replica of Le Corbusier’s infamous Plan Voisin, to be located slap-bang in the heart of Central Park.

With a plethora of glittering towers being dreamt up at the southern end of the park, officials envisage the Swiss-French architect’s vision as a perfect urban foil for these high-end condominiums. The new administration’s relaxation of regulations across both urban development and environmental sectors opens up the prospect of unfettered construction of these monumental towers, destined to house all the people who have been priced out of every other enclave in Manhattan.

A visualization of Phase 1, set to be constructed in 2018

Council member Joseph King was enthusiastic about the daring proposals. “Plan Voisin is regarded as the standout example of a large-scale social contrivance,” he declared, with a faintly manic expression in his eyes. “So, what better model to follow when trying to produce a truly ‘iconic’ development for the 99% of New York City?”

King was keen to espouse his knowledge of historic urban planning ideologies during this morning’s press conference. “Corb said something about ‘towers in the park‘”, he exclaimed. “Well, we’ve got the park, so we just need to add the towers, and HEY PRESTO! Utopia.”

The jovial spokesman also attempted to calm fears about possible environmental side-effects of the development, along with criticisms from those precious few holding on to the park as a “valuable public space”.

A draft plan of Central Park once all 5 phases are complete

“We’ll consider a green roof or two on some of the blocks to make up for the loss of a few trees here and there. People will also be delighted to learn that the majority of the Harlem Meer will be retained, with a number of new road bridges making Central Park infinitely more accessible to limo drivers and taxi cabs than it used to be.”

It has not been confirmed when construction will be completed, but locals have been reassured that retail services will be incorporated to service the influx of new residents. “We’ll build a Target or two, not to worry,” King said, grinning from ear to ear.

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